summer rain

few days ago, i found myself standing in an ocean shore. there were dark clouds over the horizon yet there were also traces of sunshine behind it. i do not know if it's going to rain or it's going to be sunny.

yet i prayed that it wont rain that day, coz there were things i have to do and i feel that i only have that day to do it. also, i never liked the rain's chilling effect on me.

then i held back in anticipation which would come first, and to my delight...the dark clouds were slowly moving away and gone, gone from my sight. my heart lifted up and pictures of things (i'd like to do and should do) started to form in my mind.

but before those pictures were even completed, it caught me by surprise, suddenly the wind started blowing in a different direction. then the rain, that inconsiderate rain ruined my day, or maybe, it was my attitude that ruined my day.

coz i know that it is all beyond my control and i can still choose to be happy even if it did rained. despite this fact, i still find it hard to change my perspective, to change the way i feel about it, because it's not what i expected.

just like some circumstances in my life, some are beyond my control. there were days that started out so happy like there were sunshine all over but suddenly, in just a matter of an instant, in one single word, it turned out the way i dont want them to be...rainy.

im sure i cannot blaim it on the rain (unpleasant circumstances), i only have myself to blaim coz i allowed it to get inside me, and i allowed myself to affect others as well. coz whether i like it or not, it's still gonna rain.

at the end of the day...i fell on my knees and prayed. i asked God to give me a humble heart that could take whatever He sends me, sunshine or rain.

meantime, i'l just keep on breathing, for tomorrow the sun may rise again or maybe the rain will come and who knows what will God send me.

regardless of the weather, i will choose to be happy.